THE DESERT'S TALK WITH THE OLD MAN
OR VICE VERSA

The desert... It can charm and it can kill. The Sun. The sand. The far passing caravans. And one old man. For some, a wise elder, for someone else, another crazy one. He is not afraid of the scorching the sun, because it is not alien to him. He is not terrified by the ocean of sand, because he has been bathing in it since childhood. He has no fear of dying of thirst or hunger because he knows how to survive in the desert. Only he still doesn't realize why he loses the people dearest to him all his life.

This is how the old man was walking through the desert and thinking: he knows a lot of things, but he can’t understand why death takes his loved ones. Why is happiness always marred by grief? He spent his long journey searching for one single answer. But never found it.

Evening was approaching. It was time for the old man to go back. But the desert did not want to give him what he came for. Therefore, he did not give up and continued on his way.

“Until I understand, I will not return,” the old man said to himself. And then he suddenly thought, why would he even know the answer to this question. He was saddened by the latest events in his life. Exactly a year ago, his eldest sons died. In total, he had ten children from four wives. He lived in Morocco. He was rich and could provide for his entire extended family. The old man was walking and wondering if he had done the right thing. Yes, he was dividing evenly the number of nights and gifts between the wives. But did he love them equally? Did he yearn to meet one as much as the other; or simply followed the Quran injunctions? And why, having eight children, he only thinks about the lost two? Is it really because these children were from the first wife, who, two months after the cruel loss, left after her sons? Although he did not want to admit even to himself, in the depths of his soul he always knew that he truly loved only her, and thus sinned. Be that as it may, the death of a child is one of the biggest trials for any parent, including a true Muslim. Now neither the thought of paradise, nor the love for other children helped. His friend said yesterday, “We can have a hundred sheep. And having lost one, we will leave ninety-nine and go to look for that one, not at all worrying about the possible loss of the rest. We are ready to leave all the sheep in the desert until we find the missing one.” (Luke 15:1-7). The friend was a Christian and often quoted biblical scriptures. Despite the rather contradictory teachings of the Quran regarding other religions, the old man also respected other people's faith. "After all, Islam teaches patience," he always repeated. A friend talked about biblical parables about the found drachma (Luke, 15:8-10) and about the return of the prodigal son (Luke, 15:11-32). And the old man felt anguish in his soul, because his sons would never return. He would be glad to forgive them a thousand mistakes, but only to see them alive. At least one time. And he thought again about the meaning of life. Why is life given to a person and then taken away? “Every soul will taste death. On the Day of Judgment, you will be rewarded in full: whoever is delivered from the fire of Hell and will be entered into Paradise, he will achieve success. And life in this world is just a deceitful pleasure” (Sura “Alu ‘Imran”, Ayat 185). The old man is not accustomed to dispute what is written by the Creator's hand. He honored the commandments and believed in them sacredly. But a sage cannot truly become a sage without tasting life, without knowing the sweet and bitter fruits.